There are women in this world who are in control of the smallest details of their girlishness. Their clothing and accessories are always stylishly coordinated. Their faces, toes and fingers are perfectly buffed and polished. All their desirable hairs are blow-dried and set; any hairs deemed undesirable have been aggressively removed. These women swathe themselves in delicate fragrances; read fashion magazines and chick-lit; and enjoy watching romantic comedies. And they count carbs and calories, or for good measure, both.

These women astonish me, because I am a woman who does none of these things. I have no patience for shopping; in fact, I lack even the patience required to match my socks. I don’t wear makeup and I only consent to shaving my legs during the NHL off-season. I’d rather go naked than wear perfume, and I think counting the content of my food takes all the fun out of eating. I have never paid to watch a Julia Roberts movie. I hope never to do so. When confronted with a Julia Roberts movie, I fall asleep defensively.

This is not to say that I shun the efforts of the super-girlie. Indeed, I find them strangely fascinating. It’s just that it’s never occurred to me to perform any of these girlish rituals. So that got me thinking... what if the prototypical ungirlie girl were to try and walk a mile in ridiculous heels? What if she dived right into all the smells, styles and colors of feminine cuteness, not just for a long weekend at the spa, but for a whole year? Well, friends, for your sake, and for the sake of science, I will undertake this task.

Each month between December 2003 and December 2004, I shall strike out across a new frontier of girlishness and selflessly report on all my findings. I’ll research the latest girlifying techniques; interview experts and innocent bystanders; and share with you every moment of my transformation from unadorned she-thing to candy-coated girlish rock star. Enjoy!