Back in the early days of my adulthood I made a conscious choice to always be myself. It seems like a lot of people use the term "be yourself" as an excuse for insulting other people, being unbearably selfish and generally acting like complete tools. I'm sure I did that too. But on a different level, I figured if I didn't act in a way that made me feel happy and comfortable with myself, no one else would ever be happy or comfortable with me. And when I was trying to be a girlie girl, I was neither happy nor comfortable.

I've always bristled at the notion, advanced almost exclusively by men I've encountered, that my lifelong commitment to girllessness was some sort of attempt to make myself unattractive. I've heard it many times through the years, most often in response to not shaving. "You're a pretty girl," some random heel will say, "Why do you want to make yourself ugly?"

I developed a series of well-thought-out responses, mostly centering on that notion that I want to be comfortable with myself. And while that's certainly the case, I've got to admit that these insensitive nincompoops are sort of right. I do want to make myself ugly, to exactly the sort of obnoxious and shallow blowhard who would insult a woman to her face for not adhering to his rigid idea of feminine beauty. It's not always pleasant to have some total turd make snide comments about you, but wouldn't you rather know someone's a wanker before you waste any time trying to befriend them?

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