Of course it didn't help that I was tired, cranky and emotional. Part of me felt like sitting down with them and saying, “look guys, I've had a tough day. I have a family member in the hospital and I'm just trying to get some food with my mom. Could you maybe not eye me like you're a pair of hungry lions and I'm the gimpy gazelle?” But then I realized that would not have made any difference. Because these guys weren't viewing me as a person with a family or friends or a sense of self worth. Their thought process was more like this:

“Mmmm. Girl dress nicely. Wear hoop earrings. Paint face pretty. Must ogle.”

This really made me angry. I'm positive that had I been in my normal state of ungirlishness these two clowns wouldn't have given me a second look. Because that's what a jackass filter does. It allows you to fly beneath the radar of obnoxious idiots who think it's perfectly appropriate to leer at women during family dinners. Suddenly I found myself exposed, my position on the jackass grid betrayed by a little eyeliner and lipstick. I couldn't wait to leave the restaurant, although I did think ruefully, “great, now they'll be staring at my ass on the way out.”

I'm not saying that I dislike attention from men. I enjoy a nice complement just as much as the next girl. But there's nothing complementary about open ogling. It's just gross and it makes me uncomfortable. And if being myself allows me to pre-qualify the men who approach me, good for me. If my current state of cohabitating bliss is any indication, the system works. Long live the jackass filter!