“Or hooker.”

Is that different than stripper?

“Definitely.”

Good to know.

“You know, this is like, the best conversation ever.”

Sadly, the great conversation ended shortly thereafter. I returned to my research armed with the knowledge that unless you smell like an untouchable stripper or an old lady, there's a very good chance men will not notice what you smell like. So again, I was left to ponder why perfume is such an important part of the girlish routine.

I changed tactics at this point and decided to go direct to the source. I started timidly asking my girlfriends and loved ones whether they wore perfume and if so, why.

I started with the CEO of the supreme council of girlishness, my mum. I figure my mum represents my maximum genetic girlishness potential. I'm happy to report that I can aspire to be an 8 on the girlie scale. Now, I've known my mum for a good long while and during most of that time she has been a perfume wearer. Her answer was like a revelation to me.

“I wear perfume because I like how it smells.”

Seriously?

“Yes.”

You mean, it's something that you do for yourself?

“Yes.”

Because you enjoy having that scent around you?

“Yes, I do.”

OK. Why?

“What do you mean, 'why'? I like smelling that smell.”

You like having the same smell around you all day?

“Yes. But sometimes there are perfumes that I smell in the bottle and I really like them. But then I put them on and they just sort of go off.”

Really?

“Yes, I have to try them out. And I always seem to really like the ones that are discontinued.”

That's too bad.

“Yes it is. You know one time we were in Provence and I got to go to a perfumery where they let you mix your own fragrance.”
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