Continued
Pick Your Poison
Lolita was utterly amazed by the speed and accuracy of my threading experience. She herself is an eyebrow waxer. In her own words, without regular appointments at the salon, she begins to look “like Brezhnev.”
“When I go in for an eyebrow wax, it's a procedure,” she says. “It takes forever. First they do the wax, and then they have to go in with the tweezers to bring out the shape.
“This was just so fast. I mean, she had the thread in her mouth and she was just, zzzt, zzzt, zzzt.”
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According to Lolita, the threader formed a loop of thread by holding the two ends in her mouth. “I'll bet she could floss her teeth at the same time,” said Lo, “so that's some good dental hygiene.” The threader then twisted the remainder around her fingers and ran it along my skin, ensnaring rows of hair that were pulled out in the direction of growth. It sounded like she was unzipping my eyelid. It felt pretty much like you would imagine, slightly painful but more annoying. If actual zippers feel like that, then I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to my pants. I had no idea what I've been putting you through.
She did the eyelid first and then the area immediately above the brow. Before I could say, “wow, that doesn't tickle,” she had completed brow one and was busy arranging my hand for brow two. The total elapsed time for the procedure was less than 3 minutes. I've had sneezes that lasted longer. There was no fancy soothing lotion at the end. She simply handed me a tissue and gestured to the front counter. There, I parted with a cool $5 and went about my merry way.
As for the results, my brows now are arched with the cool, precise lines of a topiary maze. There was some mild swelling and redness at first, but by the time I had polished off my second plate of curry it was gone. Predictably, no one noticed the difference without prompting. I don't know if I would do this again, but there are certainly worse excuses to go out for curry, and worse ways to part with $5.
