Long, Dark Night of the Sole
Continued
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Sole in a Hole
How much do I hate shoe shopping? There was an infamous occasion several years ago, witnessed by my friend Corinne. We were traveling in Europe and I had brought only one pair of shoes, a rapidly disintegrating set of laced boots that had already carried me farther than I had any right to ask of them. One day I tripped on a wayward cobblestone and one of the soles ripped in half completely, spilling my toes across the sidewalk like freakish, malodorous little pearls. So naturally I jammed the two ends of the shoe together and kept on walking. If it weren't for Corinne's keen eyes spotting a nearby sidewalk sale, I'd probably still be wearing them.
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I was pleasantly surprised with the number of plus-sized shoes available and quickly resolved to try on as many as I could bear. First up was a pair of ultra-trendy pointy-toed shoes with gargantuan stiletto heels and a single strap across the top arch. The trouble with this particular style is that it adds a good three inches to the length of your foot. That’s no trouble if you have disproportionately small feet. If, like me, you have more foot than you know what to do with, that extra length will look ridiculous. Not to mention all of the pointy styles I tried on – and there were many – revealed an inappropriate amount of toe cleavage. I also managed to trip myself twice on the way to the viewing mirror.
Next up was a pair that appeared at first glance to be made of highly lacquered wood. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that they were in fact made of concrete. At least that’s what they felt like. They looked quite funky, but walking was nearly impossible due to the weight and the fact that they had no “give” in the sole. I may hate my feet but I don’t actually want them ripped off me.
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