HOME
By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- The Ha-Ha We Beat You Edition
- Because the Legion of Goon brings out the kid in me
- And I was a pretty obnoxious kid
- So ha-ha!
AnaLoG Clocked
I think the Moe's skeptics of the world had picked last Sunday as the day the toughest little patchwork quilt of a floor hockey team in league history would finally be knocked back down to earth. After all, we were facing the always-dangerous Legion of Goon and their intimidating roster that includes Grendel, the Terminator and about 14,000 women. And after all, we never really know exactly who's going to show up when wearing what and we only have two women and 50% of them had the flu. So yes, we really couldn't have blamed even the most ardent Moe's fan for thinking the magic carpet ride was about to end. But there's no "lose" in Moe's Tavern. There's no "win" either. There is a "nose" and a "vent" and a "Steve," and apparently that's all it takes.
Easy as falling off a LoG
One thing about this current incarnation of Moe's Tavern is that we don't
psych ourselves out like we have in the past. We stuck to our game plan on
Sunday no matter how many times the LoGs mounted a comeback. And the game
plan was amazingly simple: pick off their passes; work the fast-break on
offense; try to be a buzzing gnat in the Terminator's ear; stay cool and be
patient. After all, there's an "ego fool" in the Legion of Goon that will
show itself eventually. Also, a "noggin," an "ion of goo," and an "onion."
Quote of the Game
There's this woman who comes to one of my yoga classes every so often. She's
kind of a cranky-pants and has a little of the old sass-mouth, but I like
her because she's disarmingly goofy. Anyway, she was saying something the
other day about how our teacher had given her an instruction once that, in
her words, "was just so profound and so perfectly-observed that I instantly
forgot it. But whatever it was, it worked." That's how I feel about Scott's
five-star motivational speech during the second half. I can't remember any
of the brilliant things he said to get us focused on securing the win, but
hot damn was I ever motivated!
Bell's Two-Hearted Ale Player of the Game
And on that note, I'm naming Scott our rotating-beverage POTG. Whatever he
said, it worked. Besides, he made some real beauty saves against a
nuclear-powered opponent.
Don't string him aLoG
Moe would like me to remind everyone who hasn't yet paid him to please bring
a check or cash to this Sunday's game. That list includes me. I will be
bringing a check, as there's no "cash" in Natasha. There is "an ash," "a
hat" and "Satan." And you know what? I'm just going to stop now before I
further implicate myself in the fall of man.
Next Week's Game
We are on at 1:00, playing a team that has the dubious distinction of giving
up the most goals so far this season. Seriously, the team we shut out put up
9 against them. I'm not saying we should start looking ahead to the
playoffs. I'm just saying, we may need another dazzling pep talk from Scott
to stay awake during this one.
Opening a DiaLoG
Speaking of the playoffs, I'm launching my sophisticated lobbying campaign
to get Casey to sub for us on Championship Sunday right now. In case you've
missed any or all of the complicated discussions on this year's playoff
format, as of right now we're pretty sure we'll have a bye March 13 and it
sure seems like we'll have to play a double header to have a crack at the
title on March 20. And we're giving SportsMonster the benefit of the doubt
that they know March 27 is Easter Sunday. So anyway, I've been researching
the top negotiating strategies of highly-effective people and I'm pretty
confident that Casey will be unable to resist my highly-nuanced approach.
Ready? OK, here goes:
IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S GOOD IN THE WORLD, CASEY, YOU HAVE TO COME! I'M NOT KIDDING, MY EFFING LEGS WILL FALL RIGHT THE HELL OFF IF I HAVE TO PLAY TWO WHOLE GAMES WITHOUT ANY REST. CAN I GET AN AMEN, SISTER TRICIA? HOLY PIGS IN BLANKETS, WE NEED YOU!!!
I patiently await your response.
Respectfully,
nj
[Shopper ends]
[Begging continues]