HOME
By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- The "You can't forfeit a win" Edition
- Also known as
- The "You've just completely screwed us over" Edition
- Also known as
- The "Forget it. You're an asshat." Edition
Just because you won doesn't mean you're not a loser.
Alright, I am going to do my level best to explain to the folks who weren't there on Sunday exactly what happened and how we wound up without an opponent. Basically, On Tap won the 12:00 battle of the crappy teams. Upon winning, they elected to forfeit because in their own words they were "too wasted" to play a second game, wanted to "go drinking" and "go out with a win." So it would appear based on their comments that they understood they would be forfeiting to us. But no. Due to some magical wormhole in the fabric of logic, they determined that they could instead retroactively forfeit the game they had just won and have us play their vanquished opponents. We tried to point out to them that this made absolutely no sense and that they had in fact just screwed us over. We were met first with grade-school petulance and then with simple slack-jawed gapery. Neither of which pleased us.
Hate to say I told you so...
Here is a quote from the Shopper I wrote after our last meeting with On Tap:
"... I really didn't care for our opponents this week. I get annoyed with
people who act like complete jerks but are convinced that they're charming
and eccentric. ... Maybe if you weren't ten pounds of jackass jammed in a
five pound sack, we'd all be a little more cheerful." To my own beloved
self, I can only say, "true dat."
Oh, and it gets better
Meanwhile, the other team of losers (the Blackwings, according to
SportsMonster) were engaged in a shouting match with Sean. I don't know,
something about them looking to start a fight and one of their main guys
getting kicked out. The upshot is that the Blackwings took their marbles and
went home, leaving us with nothing but our bitterness and an empty gym. My
projected entry in the reincarnation draft promptly dropped from "squirrel"
to "biting fly." Hopefully I'll start that life somewhere near an On-Tapper.
Scrimmage!
Ah the joys of an all-Moe scrimmage. There is something liberating about
running around with your teammates and constantly forgetting who's on which
side.
Victoria Bitter Player of the Game
I'm going to give it to the person who traveled farthest to that train wreck
of a hockey tourney. I'm pretty sure that's Eric, although it may be Mike.
They keep rolling aLoG
Oh yeah, you knew this was coming. Our first opponent this Sunday is the
mighty -- and mighty pissed from the look of it -- Legion of Goon. They're
tall. They're beefy. They hail from the land of 10,000 women. We all know
this will be a tough one, but we hit on a winning formula against them last
time. I think if we remember that strategy we ought to be able to get the
better of them again. That game is at 12:00. Should we prevail, we would
play again at 2:00 for the championship against either Tom's team or the "no
mas" brigade that tried unsuccessfully to beat us up and take our lunch
money earlier this season. Apparently, they knocked the crap out of the
newly-sucky Kincade's. If you're not able to come you should just hang 'em
up. Seriously, dude, this is the heart of the playoffs. Get your ass down
there.
It's all up to us now
I have no more motivational words. I have no more frantic pleas for
participation. This team has amazed me every game this season with its
ability to find wins. I know we can find a couple more. That's all I have to
say really. See y'all Sunday.
[Shopper ends.]