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By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- The So-Over-the-Enforcers edition
- Hey Kid Canada
- Enforce this!
First the good news...
The Pot Stickers came through for us last Sunday, beating the thoroughly mediocre Legion of Goon and thereby ensuring us the second seed. Tom promised me a win before the game, but I think that was just more posturing to make me think he's not trying to kill me. Anyway, with the second seed comes a first-round bye, so we will not see each other again until June 13. [sniff] I'll miss you guys.
Now the bad...
We needed help from the Pot Stickers because, once again, we lost to the Enforcers. We did a lot better this time, due to the notable absence of certain inconceivably bad substitute players. However, we were still short-handed, no one more so than Jimmy. It's tough to identify exactly what went wrong with this game. I think sometimes you may come out a little flat early and then you just don't get any bounces. I also think their two wrap-around goals should not have counted because the goal was 3”-4” out of position. But that's just me. By that logic, we still would've lost 9-10, but then again maybe we wouldn't have felt so deflated.
Shut it, Shiny Pants
OK, Kid Canada? You're a tit. I'm sure away from the game of hockey you're a perfectly nice individual. Actually, no, I take that back. I think away from the game you're a smug git. I think you're the type of guy who screams things out his car window while he's stuck in traffic, and then acts surprised when other drivers flip him off. I think you act this way because you labor under the misapprehension that this behavior is charming. Allow me to disabuse you of this notion. It is not charming to yell, “play it!,” at our goalie. It's not charming to cross-check people or purposely shoot at them. There are many words to describe this behavior, but no! I have wasted enough words on you, sir. Be gone!
KLPOTG
This week's player of the game is Jimmy's ski glove. With a glove like that, who needs a ring finger? Honorable mention to the rest of Jimmy.
Next Game
By the time we play our next game, I will have attended two weddings in two weeks in two states. Fear me, for I am the wedding-attender.
I know this game is a long way off, but we really need to know as soon as possible who can make it and who can't. In order to win the championship we will have to play a double-header, so it's vital that we have all our Moe's All-Stars in place. We've received strong sub work from Greg, but his wife is going to have a baby any minute now so he may be waist-deep in nappies by then. I will keep the candle lit in my Amber shrine, but I fear my ablutions will be in vain.
That is all for today. Have a safe and happy Memorial Day, everyone!
[Shopper ends]