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 Moe's Tavern Shopper - Spring 2005 Vol. 2

By Guest Natasha, Moe

  • Moe's Tavern Shopper
  • not brought to you by Natasha
  • because she wasn't there
  • but probably got bruised wherever she was

MOE IS TIRED AND OLD
A couple weeks ago I was stretching before the game and Tricia, I think, said: "That's an old man stretch!" She was right. It was. That's because I'm an old man.

MOE HAD SEX LAST NIGHT AND PROMPTLY FELL ASLEEP
That's because Moe is an old man. I actually didn't sleep well though. Now I'm tired. And really busy at work. Does it never end? When does Moe get rewarded for all his hard work?

MOE IS ON NEW DRUGS AND LIKES IT
Goodbye Ritalin, my attention is not at deficit and you made me feel like I was in 8th grade. Hello, Effexor! Moe startin' to feel young again!

MOE SCORED THREE GOALS ...
... in last week's thrilling 9-8 victory. Yet, Moe didn't feel like he had a great game. Ball kept getting tangled in Moe's feet. Though Moe made two killer passes, one a behind-the back.

MOE LOVES GREG
Because Greg never gets tired. Sometimes Moe gets tired and just says, "Greg, you go."

JIMMY LOVES TO SCORE
Because that's who Jimmy is.

MOE'S USES FOURTH-STRING GOALIE
And gives up more goals than all of last season, nearly. Scott, Eric, Dale, don't ever leaves us again. (Dale, you are no longer on this e-mail list because you didn't return my phone calls or e-mails last week. Dale on suspension.)

FE-MOE'S BEST WOMEN IN AMERICA
Maybe the world. Or universe. We love Tricia. She had bronchitis or something and still dominated the floor. We love Missy. We confuse her with Melissa though because their names are so similar. Moe not so smart. We missed Natasha. Moe had to go into corners more, play along wall. Moe not like.

SCORE
9-8 over the Half Nuts. This Moe's outfit has shown it can come back late. I think we were down 8-6, weren't we? This team has shown a lot of character the last couple of seasons. I think it's Greg and Tricia.

UPCOMING
Game is at 11 a.m. against Ted's team. We need everybody on board for this epic battle. Moe wants to win this one very badly. I will assume Natasha, Tricia, Missy and Melissa will be there unless otherwise notified. Same with Scott, Greg, and Jimmy. That constitutes the official roster. Mike, can you make it? If not, Marty can you make it? If not, Eric can you make it?

HI CATE
Hi Cate. We love you. Stop blushing. Cate designs Web sites for the Mexican League. How cool is that?

MONEY
Moe has cashed checks from last season. This season's fees have not yet been calculated. This is a very complicated undertaking for Moe. Moe not so smart sometimes. seasons. I think it's Greg and Tricia.

Moe out.

Contact Not Moe.