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By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- "Prepare to be Moed down."
News Flash: Moe's Tavern guts out win
In a game replete with the kind of momentum swings that have characterized this rivalry for years, Moe's Tavern clung to a 6-5 lead for a heart-stopping 82 seconds to beat the former BW#'s Thunderstruck. Our regular season winning streak now stands at 10. After showing great tenacity and vigor in defending our president's trophy, we're left with the burning questions that haunt any championship-caliber team. Will we be able to perform this well in the playoffs? When will we claim our next sweatshirt of supremacy? Will we ever have all four fe-Moes at the same game again? Who is Isaac and how many sons does he have? Only time will tell, my friends.
News Flash: Eric nearly outs guts
Eric would like everyone to know that he almost vomited three times during
Sunday's game. I would like everyone to know that I almost vomited when he
told me that.
News Flash: Older siblings are inferior
I totally understand where Scott was coming from with the intense desire to
show-up his older brother on Sunday. I understand because I am a younger
sibling. If anyone on the team is an older sibling, please know that no
matter how close you and your brothers and/or sisters may be, they secretly
hate you a little bit. They've spent their whole life being asked, "hey,
aren't you so-and-so's baby brother/sister?" They still remember that time
when they were five and you stole all their Halloween candy. And don't even
get them started on how you broke the news about Santa. I believe I speak
for younger siblings everywhere when I say, "you got ownzed, Scott's
brother!"
News Flash: Natasha and Tricia finish game oddly breathlessless (or is that
breathmore?)
I am really enjoying this four-woman-roster thing. It's like a little
vacation every week. I'm starting to experience a strange sort of
post-non-traumatic stress disorder, though. After last game I went home and
ran up and down my stairs a few times. And then I threw hard-boiled eggs at
myself. And then I called a time out and started all over again. Is that
normal?
Keystone Light Player of the Game
On the whole, I thought everyone played really well. But I'm going with
Jimmy because he had to cover Ted most of the time, and covering Ted is a
lot like throwing hard-boiled eggs at yourself. It's really tricky and if
you succeed, it's quite painful. And half-way through you're thinking, "what
the hell is wrong with me?" And then you're just like, "screw it."
News Flash: Team too successful; will temporarily disband
In the grand tradition of Moe's Tavern, we will follow up our rousing win
with wide-spread absenteeism. Melissa is in Anaheim the next two weeks.
Scott has a conference in Springfield this week and may or may not make it.
I will be in Michigan contemplating my navel under the bewildered mutual
gaze of Ma and Venerable Old Pappy Julius. Tricia and Missy will be
old-school fe-Moeing it. If anyone else cannot make it, please let Steve
know as soon as possible.
News Flash: I need a new gimmick
Boy, maybe it's no longer feeling the icy hand of death after every game,
but I'm really struggling with the Shoppers this season. I mean, "News
Flash?" Great rivers of gravy, that's weak. I think I just bored my own ass
off. Anyway, one of you will have the chance to come up with a better hook
this week. Oh yeah, game time is 12:00 this week against the LoG. And trust
me -- they write the jokes for you.
[Shopper ends.]