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By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- The one right before the playoffs
- Which start really early on Sunday
- For no apparent reason
News Flash: Moe's terminates Goons
After a subdued first half, Moe's Tavern shifted into high gear and surged past the 85% goon-free Legion of Goon with a final score of 7-2. I think I speak for all of us when I say that the loss of the Terminator has really knocked the wind out of the LoG sails. For one thing, he appears to have taken half of their 16,000 women with him. Perhaps they are his harem. Or perhaps the rest of the team cares less when they don't have his twenty-foot wingspan to rely on.
News Flash: Natasha plays two; declares it “a piece of exhausting cake”
The Half Nuts have been good to us over the years, happily volunteering to sub on many occasions when we were short players. And by “players,” I mean women. So I figured it was only fair to help them out in their hour of need. Coincidentally enough, they will be our first-round opponents this weekend. I wasn't exactly scouting them at that point, but I did learn some valuable things. Most important, their bread-and-butter play seems to be screening the goalie (usually with a woman on forward), letting Tom crack a long shot from mid-court and then trying to collect a rebound. Also, their goalie fares a lot better on his stick side; he doesn't often handle the ball cleanly with his glove.
News Flash: dilligas surprisingly unsucky
It's apparently been a tough week for the over-eight-foot set, as dilligas' infamous sideshow goalie has been replaced by someone who seems to know what he's doing. With more confidence in their keeper, the high-powered snipers we'd noted with some dread in our earlier encounter were able to fire freely. It got ugly and I'm glad they will be squaring off against the LoG and not us.
News Flash: Mike returns!
One feisty squad of second-grade soccer heavies will be rudderless this weekend as the one and only Mike Muyres returns for the start of playoffs. Game time this week is 10:00 am. You read right, my friend. 10:00 am. Don't ask me why; there are only two games on the schedule. Anyway, if you are not able to make it please let Steve know as soon as possible. And please note, should we win on Sunday our next game would be Sunday, June 5.
One final note:
Steve tells me that some people still have not payed him for this season. If Steve doesn't get paid soon, he will be forced to start pole dancing to make up the difference. So if you want to avoid tucking your league fees into Steve's g-string, please bring your money this Sunday.
[Shopper ends.]