By Guest Moe

• Moe's Tavern Shopper
  
• Stand back! This news is hot, hot, hot!
  
• Brought to you by Pete's Pizza, where extra grease is free.
  
• Doesn't that just starch your bloomers?

We'll get 'em next time
I mean that, too. I'm not just lying to you to make you feel smarter, stronger and better looking. We played some bitchin' hockey out there against the defending Sunday-rec-league cup champions. If we play a whole game the way we played the second half on Sunday, I have no doubt Moe's will be back on the train to Victory. The EXPRESS train.

Props
Let's see... props to Sean the Ref for some great saves and killer pep talks. And I take full responsibility for one of those goals, cuz it went in off the top of my foot. Stupid foot, bad. Props also to Cate for violent swearing, and to that Michigan State guy just for being there. And to you, fair reader, because I know what comes next and it isn't pretty.

I ache, therefore I am.
In the week's most stunning upset, I've taken the title of Most Injured Moe away from Cate, the Pla-Dough bruise factory. And you know what, Nolan? You can have it back any time. Ordinarily, I like to think I dish out as much abuse as I get. But who am I kidding? I took more lumps out there than a hooker on pay day. In our new interactive feature Where They're Hurtin'
, Cate will attempt to illustrate exactly where and how I got the shit kicked out of me. Take it away, Cate!

Shopper-go-round
Steve has suggested that we have a different Moe's Tavern superstar write the Shopper each week this season. Now, I know I've set the bar for journalistic excellence pretty high here, but don't let that stop you!

Bar-go-round?
Personally, I'd be happy if we all settled down at Mulligan's and never left. And that's not just because it's within stumbling distance of my house either. Do you realize that all of the liquids we consumed only cost $20? We're talking vast amounts of good alcohol for not very much cake. I know they didn't let Lisa play the jukebox during football, which seemed to twist her knickers up pretty good. But didn't we all hear Cowboy Song and Hurts So Good enough last season?

I'd be happy to wander to other watering holes with the team. I just wanted to share what's in my battered little heart.

Thanks, kids.

-nj