Special Edition

By Moe

The Smell and Taste Research and Treatment Foundation has just released its lastest study on snack food preferences and personality, and I summarize it here for you. This is not a joke.

POTATO CHIPS: ambitious, feel pride and happiness in achievements of spouse, kids, "they seek nothing less than the best in those around them. Potato chip lovers are easily frustrated and indignant at life's inconveniences. They are furious when stuck in rush our traffic or required to wait in line at the DMV." They are worthy and prepared adversaries. This was last night's opponent!

TORTILLA CHIPS: perfectionists. "Tortilla chip lovers aren't satisfied with getting a grade of A, it must be an A+." Distressed by society's injustices. They make ideal houseguests. Prim and proper at social gatherings; the tortilla lover is conservative. "If ever marooned on a deserted island, just hope your companion is a tortilla chip lover." Except for the conservative part, this might be Cate!

PRETZELS: lively, crave novelty, flirts. "Pretzel lovers make decisions based on intuition and emotion. At times they are overly trusting, especially in romantic relationships." They are the life of the party. Must be Marty!

SNACK CRACKERS: contemplative, logical, shy and introspective. "Those who prefer crackers may easily find themselves romantically involved in an Internet relationship." Except for the shy, introspective and Internet stuff, this is Mike!

CHEESE CURLS: formal, principled, filled with integrity. "Whether it be Band Aids or batteries, the cheese curl lover's house is stocked and ready." Would this be Michelle?

MEAT SNACKS: Gregarious, generous to a fault, loyal and true friends. "Those who prefer meat snacks are prone to, and thus should be careful to avoid, rebound relationships!" Anyone wanna fess up?

ROMANTIC PAIRINGS:
tortilla lovers are most compatible with tortilla lovers
pretzel lovers are most compatible with potato chip, pretzel or cheese curl lovers
snack crackers are most compatible with pretzels
cheese curls are most compatible with potato chips or tortilla chips meat snacks are most compatible with meat snacks or potato chips