By Guest Moe, KoKo

• Moe's Tavern Shopper 2001
  
• Brought to you by Tru-fit knee braces
  
• Tru-fit - It's everything you ever wanted in a regular knee brace and less

Moe's Tavern returned to action and picked up exactly where they left off, although that's not saying much because my gym floor hockey team from 6th grade coulda gave those stiffs yesterday a run for their money.

But there were many questions to be answered before the game, some of them included:

1. Could Moe's Tavern wipe the smiles off their faces long enough to get back the snarl needed to win again after last season's championship?

2. Would Crash and Marty show up for the game?

3. Would Lisa and Michelle show up for the game?

4. Could Moe break out of his stagnant scoring drought?

5. Would Marty be himself again after the knee injury and an off-season training regimen of pork rinds and ho-ho's?

6. What effect would the new ingredient "Lora" have on the team?

7. Would there be "cool lines" to quote for the shopper?

8. Would Zivan try to weasel more ice time?

Answer Key:

1. Yes they did, but the smiles came back on after the second shift when it was extremely evident the team we were playing still wet the bed. (probably not literally but in the hockey sense)

2. Yes, they didn't plan on coming but did.

3. No, they did plan on coming but didn't.

4. Yes, Moe scored 4 goals - why did I remember that? because Moe talked about getting the phrase "I scored 4 goals in one game" tattooed on his forehead after the game. Moe, if you really feel like you accomplished anything - please refer to answer number 1.

5. Yes and no. I did score the first goal coming right outta the gate to quiet the critics but I actually felt bad for this team and didn't really want to score any more goals that weren't as artistically appealing as possible, and thus didn't score any others. So if someone looked at the box score this morning they may say something like, "that was a very un-marty-like game does he have a brain tumor or something?" it was just to be nice. I will be back, oh yes, I will.

6. First off I hope Lora realizes that it's usually not this easy. Secondly, I think she'll fit in nicely and her lack of shin guards was kind of a turn on because well, i don't wear'em cause I think it pumps me up when someone slashes me and if she likes that too then whoa baby. But I just think that it was her first game and she didn't really know to bring them, shucks.

7. Yes. Guy on other team going up to face-off after Marty scored the first goal after 1:30 in the game, "We gotta do this again?"

Marty to Lora on where to position yourself, "When your chasing the puck, your chasing the puck" but in context it worked, I think.

I can't think of anything else.

8. Yes, but he was denied, most of the time. But actually this brings up a good point. We should probably try to do quicker shifts with the guys, but whatever, this isn't the time nor place to discuss strategy.

Next game Sunday 1:30.