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By Guest Moe, Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper -- the conciliatory edition
- A round of Cokes, a tuna melt, and forty minutes of cramping time
Don't feel bad - we're still the reigning defunct Sport and Social Club
Sunday league champs.
And since they're defunct, no one can ever take that away from us.
The Blame Game
I think it really cheapens the myriad achievements of this season to go around assigning blame, but this is definitely Flynn's fault. Think about it: the minute he started observing from the sidelines, our get-up-and-go laid down and died. Moe said, and I quote, "I felt like I was playing without control of any motor skills... and you can quote me on that." Personally, I felt as if someone had unplugged me. Which is ironic, considering the injury I sustained in the second half.
Excuse me waiter, how's the tenderloin tonight?
Things really got off to a bad start when Steve decided to test the
efficacy
of Sean the Goalie's athletic cup. For the record, Moe, that's not what we
meant by "warming him up". Once Sean had a chance to catch his breath, we
promptly ran around like chickens with our heads up our asses and allowed
the bearded twin towers to score five goals. And then...
I'll have what he's having
...I took one for the team. Half an inch lower and I probably could've had
the ball arrested. But it's OK; Larry and I weren't planning to have kids
anyway. Of course, the incident did inspire another fabulous quote from
the
ref: "I mean this with total respect... I mean, you're a great athlete...
there are things you can get, it's kinda like a cup... I mean, you don't,
you know, there's stuff internally... just go to, like, a sporting goods
store..."
The Immaculate Conversion
The high point of the game for me was definitely that time I fed Marty
this
gorgeous pass and he turned it into a goal no human being could've
stopped.
I mean, he poked that thing into the tippy-toppy corner of the net, like, behind where they keep the peanut butter. It rocked, and for about ten seconds Marty and I felt ready for our NHL debut. Except we weren't on ice.
And the goalie had no pads. And frankly, who are we kidding?
Looking to the Future: A Moe's season autopsy
Well, you win some, you lose some. And since losing sucks, let's think
about
all the things we did right this season and do more of them. We won a lot
more overall this season, and that was pretty cool. Marty only played "The
Cowboy Song" once all season. We actually got Woodsy to stay in the middle
once or twice. Actually, I think it was once. Cate, Lisa and I burned
twice
as many calories as we would've ordinarily because we were usually the
only
women there. And we took the art of bruising to new, and generally
unthinkable levels. No, I will not be exhibiting my latest contusion with
the same frequency as Cate. Unless you've got $50.
New season starts in five minutes.