By Guest Moe, Eric "the Rookie"

• Moe's Tavern Shopper
  
• brought to you by Keystone Light
  
• after the game, grab a Keystone - a Keystone Light
  
• sponsors of the Keystone Light Player of the Game
  
• Keystone. The beer that comes in a Light.
  
• Keystone.

Mmmm, Victoria's Secret Models dressed like Angels...
At the conclusion of Sunday's game, some of the warriors discussed spiritual matters. One could only imagine that after a 4-4 tie against a team without any sort of discernible offensive talent, this "spiritual" discussion might center on "how the hell did we tie." Besides the larger question of whether hell, heaven, or Victoria's Secret models dressed like angels actually exist, Moe and I came to the conclusion that those who wrote the Bible used "creative editing" when they told the story of Jesus. One might think that Jesus was not the "Son of God", sent to release us from the bondage of sin.

Rather, this being was a guy who could hold his alcohol better than the other 12 guys. As a result, Jesus could explain feeding 5000 people and turning water into wine because the guys got blasted on MD 20/20. Granted, the Mad Dog was premium stuff 2000 years ago, however, through the years of evolution, humans have not improved their ability to nurse a hangover.

With the grand and eternal discussion of hell, Jesus, and cheap wine out of the way, I humbly submit my version of the Shopper.

Droppings
As mentioned above, we tied. I also understand that Marty and Woodsy scored. Zivan performed his new signature move, the drop pass. For a moment, I could not tell if it was Jagr passing to Francis. On second thought, it looked more like Gord Roberts dropping to Jim Pak. Anyhow, please refrain from such behavior. Young, impressionable rookies may follow suit. Since Dr. Skinner banged a cymbal every time I touched the rabbit. I can attest to the power of negative reinforcement. With this knowledge, I can say with all metaphysical certainty that I will never, ever, in a million zillion gazillion years use a drop pass or that I will ever pet a rabbit.

On the bright side, the women definitely outplayed the competition. Their play was a beckon in the darkness that was our tie. Ellen, and our ringer, Hillary, contributed to the collective malaise in which our competitors had to suffer. Casey repeatedly sent the ball packing out of our defensive zone. Top honors go to Natasha for her sterling play. Because of Natasha's tenacious play on the penalty kill, she was rewarded with the Keystone Light Player of the Game. Regrettably, this writer failed to bring the tepid prize, so that Natasha could use this psydeo-cold press for her bruises.

Mmmmm, Kiwi Lime Mad Dog...
For some, this Sunday will mark the one of two times we have to go to church for this calendar year. For all those is this unfortunate trap, just imagine Jesus slapping Peter for drinking the last of the Kiwi Lime Mad Dog. It will make the time go quicker. Otherwise, drink a bottle for Moe.

This concludes this week's Shopper. Next week you will receive a Shopper Alert reminding you that our next game is at 3:30 p.m. against cute Kelly's team. If you haven't yet figured it out, there is NO GAME this Sunday because too many people believe some hippie dude rose from the dead three days after he bled to death in a carpentry accident.

END