By Moe

• Moe's Tavern Shopper
  
• brought to you by Reggie Hammond
  
• there's a new sheriff in town
  
• be cool, y'all
  

Jesus people, we're gonna lose once or twice a season. It happens. I know Cate wants to be perfect and all, but c'mon.

We're 2-1-1, it's the same league we've always played in, same teams, we're still one of the top three teams. Some seasons we're the best, some season we're maybe the third-best. Our personnel changes, we have to adjust. Mike and Crash are gone, but Eric is a classic Moe and our women are much stronger, given that they actually show up.

So snap the fuck out of it, people, and let's have some fun. Remember when we used to pass? Remember when we used to chant "Boorrringgg!" when Zivan and Woodsy were out there? Be like Eric, the new guy. He exudes pure Moe's joy. Channel his energy.

But don't slide like him.

It'S A Simple Game
Each player is responsible for a quadrant. You move up and down, side to side, within your quadrant. On defense you cover the open person or the person with the ball. On offense you pass or shoot. Got it? On Sunday we'll go back to two guys up front. There will be less confusion in back.

Sunday Strategy
The Green team plays a full-court. What that means is that their forwards come back and play defense and their defense goes up and plays forward. Their entire team moves up and back. They don't stand around like we do. We must play a full-court to compete with this team.

They also set up their offense very nicely, like a box or triangle. The only way to defeat it is to play our positions, forwards come back and take the Greenies on the point, defenders make sure anyone open in the middle is covered by one person, and anyone open on the side is covered by the other.

Nolte
Now let's review some of Nick Nolte's greatest performances. Yes, 48 Hrs. But how 'bout Down & Out In Beverly Hills, a fine, fine film. Of course, he did do that Trouble movie thingie where he's a Chicago journalist, and that stunk. But after North Dallas Forty, you have to give him some slack.

Postman
I'm also surprisingly favorable toward The Postman, even if I find Costner's character annoying. Any takers?

Behind The Music
Just saw the Megadeth one. Surprisingly good. But at the height of their success, they were torn apart by drugs.

Keystone Light Players Of The Game (edited version)
Week one: I did not play, therefore nobody won. (Then again, one could argue that when somebody drinks a Keystone Light, nobody wins.)
Week two: Sean the Goalie
Week three: Natasha, but forgot the Keystone Light. She officially received her prize before week four.
Week Four: Cate

Finally
We should have said it sooner. We'll say it now. Gabba Gabba Hey.

moe out.