By Guest Moe, Mike

KEYSTONE PLAYER OF THE WEEK Sean the Goalie

• MOE's Tavern Shopper
  
• World Series Addition
  
  

I think I speak for the team when I say that this ref has to be the worst ref we have had since the teams inception. I think he must have failed anatomy class, given that he thinks our waist is somewhere around our kneecaps. (Probably due to his skipping ahead to look for the pictures of women's private parts).

MOVE YOUR ASS
In an effort to more completely screw up the game, the ref is now in the habit of roaming around in the middle of the gym. That way, when he is not making an asinine call, he can at least get in the way of any real hockey taking place between penalties. Ref's explanation as to why he is in the middle, "I can't see that well, but it's not a problem with my vision" (Again, looks like more 'anatomy' problems surfacing!)

COMMUNICATION SKILLS
To top it off, the ref uses sporadic whistles and mumbled speech to completely eliminate any possibility of the players making sense of his calls. Without knowing the exact context, one exchange between ref and Moe went something like this: Moe "That shot wasn't in"
Ref "THREE MINUTES"
Moe "Is there a penalty"
Ref "THREE MINUTES"
Moe "What's the call"
Ref "THREE MINUTES"
Moe "Your an idiot" (not really what Moe said, but I'm sure it was what he was thinking)
As you can see, the ref cleared up the confusion very quickly.

WHERE'S THE LOVE
Marty Gangler, was absent from this weekends game. Apparently "some" people feel it is more important to watch a local football team win in a last second thriller, than to support their real team. (Marty, hope you didn't leave early!) At least Julie was able to convince the Blackhawks to hold a night game on Sunday so that her attendance would not interfere with the Moe's schedule)

SUPER SUB
Thanks to Curtis, who brought his A-Game and notched a couple goals during the double header.

INJURY REPORT
Jennifer took a nasty crack to her thumb during the first game, but played through the pain (MRI scheduled for Monday).

Blue Balls. Zivvan also took a wicked puck shot into the balls. Had it been a game saving shot block, he might have received more sympathy however, it was afflicted by his own teammate Natasha. Dave to Natasha-"You just hit me in the balls" Natasha-"So, thats not a penalty or anything"

SWEET MOVES
After blowing countless break-aways and open shots, yours truly managed to participate in one of the days highlight reel plays. It was a Mike to John pass, back to Mike, back to John, who one timed it into the back of the net.

GOALIE CORNER:
Sean was stellar again in goal, blocking almost every shot fired on him. Take away the other team's lucky ass fluke, rebound goals, and they probably only had 1 real goal either game.

STATS:
Not only Moe's leading the won loss column, but they also lead the league in these other categories
PPG: (Points per Game)
GAA: (Goals against average)
PMPG: (Penalty Minutes per game)
EMPW: (Emails per week)

That All Folks. I can't make next weeks game since I will be in Minneapolis. Good luck!