By Natasha

KEYSTONE PLAYER OF THE WEEK Steve, again

Check in on Winter 2002's "Experiment in Weekdays": Moe's Lite

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"If I had a big game, where I played really well all over the ice, that was a 'Lamborghini night'. If it was just one of those games where nothing clicked, it was a 'Lada night'. It was just a contrast in cars and a contrast in the level of my play itself."

No offense to individual performances, but Sunday felt like something less than a Lada. In fact, it felt like we were driving a Yugo with a rebuilt lawnmower engine and duct tape holding down the hatchback. This week, let's try to run on a few more cylanders.

I'm Still Not Moe: Memoires of a Coach
Cate's determination to captain this team was put to the test this week when she was forced to make the dreaded phone call to Sean's mom. Armed with Julie's cell phone (who says they're useless?) she threw a verbal bucket of cold water on our slumbering goalie and managed to get him to the gym midway through the first half.

I Never Said I was Sean: The Diary of a Back-up Goalie
Keystone Light player of the game, for like the fifth week in a row, has got to be Moe for being both Steve Passmore and Luc Robitaille in the same game. Once again with the timely goals, what's gotten into the man? Not to mention he served up the briefest and most motivating pre-game pep talk... "No shots on goal, please."

Smackdown: The Story of the Other Team
I'm only calling out the other team as a bunch of coked-up hacks to prove a point. There's no earthly reason we should be fighting hard in the last minute of the game to tie a team like that. We should be mopping the floor with their asses. Obviously the fact that our goalie was asleep for part of the game didn't help. Still, we need to be able to raise our game in situations like these. If you bring a Lamborghini to race a Toyota Tercel, you should expect to win. However, if you refuse to shift the Lamborghini out of second gear and focus on avoiding the potholes in the road, you'll lose.

Jilted: Three Good Reasons to Pay Cate
There are those of you out there who have yet to pay Cate for this season. Maybe you're not aware, but Cate took the money out of her wedding fund. That's right, our little Cate is getting ready to walk down the aisle and become Mrs. Jim Leonard. And each part of the $71.11111111 that you owe her means one less flower in her hair, one less song on the reception mix tape, and one less sequin on the dress. I'm just sayin', is all.