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By Natasha
KEYSTONEPLAYER OF THE WEEK Jen Tescher |
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- Taking you back in time
- On a sentimental journey
- To that place where hockey was a good thing.
Sometimes hockey don't feel like it should
Last Sunday was all inside-out and upside-down. Moe's Tavern suffered its first lost since November 2001, a nail-biter that went right down to the wire. And to top it all off, the Red Wings were down 2-0 to the Vancouver Canucks. I mean, are you freaking kidding me? The Canucks? They don't even have a real logo for crying out loud! But just as my mighty wingies have managed to scrape their tired-old-assed way back to something like respectability, so must the crew at Moe's shake off this minor set-back.
Hockey means never having to say you're sorry
At least, that appears to be the motto of the John Galt Line. What is up with these people? Do they think because they're small they
can push us around? Does that even make sense? What the hell is going on here?
It's better to have hockeyed and lost than never to have hockeyed at all
OK, so we got no bounces the whole game. And we missed a couple of open nets. And we had a backup goaltender. And he happens
to be the goaltender for our chief rivals. When you take it all together, this should've been our game. Next time we play that hapless
sack of loonies, let's try to remember the lessons learned in the second half of this game: 1) they slow down after they've been running
around a while; 2) they get mad for no reason, and it doesn't make them better; 3) despite an impressive array of muscle shirts and
improbably scuplted biceps, their goalie is totally beatable.
Hockey me tender
This week's Keystone Light Player of the Game is Jen Tescher, because she stayed absolutely calm, bright and cheerful throughout
the whole affair. She truly embodied the age old lesson from Sean, "remember to have fun". That's what I'm talking about, people.
Hockey is a many-splendored thing. Hockey makes the world go round. Money can't buy you hockey... oh, wait, yes it can.
True hockey comes to those who wait
This Sunday's game is at 1:00 against a team that appears to be the league whipping-boy. So while it may not amount to "true
hockey", it should be an opportunity for us to flex our muscles and vent any remaining frustrations relating to last week. Meanwhile, I
have elected to have a radical Wingectomy to end the constant, blinding pain of this year's playoffs. For all you Chicago fans out there,
I know a clinic that's offering two-for-one Hawkotomies through Thursday. Mmmmm.... hockey tickles....