Moe's Tavern Shopper

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WINTER 2002

Moe's Tavern Shopper - Spring 2002 - Vol. 6

By Natasha

KEYSTONE
PLAYER
OF THE
WEEK
Eric Emery

Moe's Tavern Shopper
The I-Am-At-Work-After-The-Game Edition
Work: I'm at it

* See Supplement A to this shopper here.

WE ARE THE GREATEST FLOOR HOCKEY TEAM EVER
I've been thinking about why we lost, and I could retail a couple theories, but I think I've settled on this one: We are too good for our own good. I'm just speaking of the guys right now, and mainly I'm just speaking for myself, 'cause the girls worked really hard, as usual, and I guess Marty and Mike did too, but maybe my recent inability to hustle more is tied to the fact that we can turn it off and on at will. Because we rule.

Plus, I'm getting older by the minute.

And I felt out of rhythym with those guys, though they scored some goals for us. We win because we can pass. They can't. So I feel confident we will crush BW3 and all others who come before us in the playoffs. We can beat John Galt 2, and we can beat these clowns we just lost too, with just a little more quickness, and that good ol' Moe's brand of hockey. So I feel fine going into the playoffs.

ERIC THE GOALIE
Eric should feel nothing but totally solid about the way he played Sunday. He can't stop balls that go through the net. I blame myself for the others. Eric, you are the man, and you were the only one I heard saying, "Let's go, Moe's!" You are the X factor, dude. You will do us proud.

ERIC THE GOALIE II
Not only that, but those pads are damn fine. You should wear those out on a Friday night, dude! You'll get plenty of action...

LET'S TALK ABOUT ME SOME MORE
So here's what happened on that one play. The guy played the body on me, and to keep from falling over I leaned on my stick. Then he stick-checked my stick out from under me! I tumbled hard to the floor. Was it a penalty? I think it was very clever, and sleazy, on his part, but a tough thing to call. I did not complain. But I tried to retaliate. I got up and tried to hit him somehow, but all I could do was grab his glove a couple times, and I think he just thought I needed help getting up. Not my finest moment.

Then there was a face-off and John the Idiot Ref says to me, "Did you step on his stick?" How that would've been possible, and the cause of my fall, I don't know. Sometimes, most of the time, I just don't know what game he's watching. I just said "No." Nothing more.

And then there was this other play. I got the ball at midcourt and saw Marty on my left. I could've run with the ball myself, but I had a vision. A vision that required a behind-my-back pass to Marty. It would've been so pretty they would have had to call art museum curators in from around the world to bid on it. (Hey, that's pretty good!)

Unfortunately, something went wrong. I think one of the bad guys stepped in front of it and it never got to Marty.

But just the thought of it makes me smile...One day, I will make that play. And you will all go, "Oooooohhhhhh!"

PLAYOFFS
So now it's time for the real season, Moe's, so let's get ourselves in a playoff frame of mind and win just one more for Cate and Julie! Plus, we're so much better than the Cubs it isn't even funny! We have far more championships than they do! (Wait, I think Don Baylor just put together an even more putrid lineup than last time!)

PLAYOFFS II
I have no idea when we play, so don't ask me.

Moe out.

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