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By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- Supplement #A
- Responding to, yet not refuting
- the original Moe's Shopper.
I Was Workin' After the Game, Too.
Not, like, at my office or anything, but I was trying to recruit Tom for the next edition of Moe's. And I think I made progress. I got the whole dirty story about his team -- geez oh pete's, it's like Days of Our Lives over there. Everyone is sleeping with everyone else, and plotting against one another, and trying to swap babies. He's getting pretty sick of it. I told him he definitely needs to come to Moe's, because we're so unlike a soap opera we don't even use soap. Although Marty is my long lost twin and I'm actually Moe's father.
The Guy on the Other Team I Hid From
It's interesting that you use the word "sleazy", Moe, because I happen
to
know from personal experience that one of the guys on that team (the
one in
the green shirt to be specific) is a complete and total scumbag. Let's
not
go into detail. Suffice to say it's a wonderful thing that he didn't
recognize me with the short haircut. That means he won't be able to
suck on
my pigtail as he has in the past. And you all thought I cut my hair to
donate it.
Sleevehead: A One-Man Shopper of Quotes.
I have to admit, even though they completely threw off our team
chemistry,
Sleevehead and Baldy were pretty damn funny. In fact, Sleevehead was
cracking me and Julie up with his courtside banter. Here are a few
choice
examples:
-
After Cate made a particularly nice play: "Go Catie! You're the bomb!"
After that amazing shift where he slammed a shot into my thigh, bounced
one
off Steve's noggin and buried another in Julie's cheek: "One by one,
I'm
taking this team out."
Elaborating on his near-maiming of Julie: "The worst part is we were both going for the ball and she tells me to take it. And I gave it right back to her."
Watching Terry fix the net: "What, is he using an arc-welder out there?"
On the pads controversy: "I could sleep on those pads. Those pads are bigger than my twin bed."
After the game: "I'll tell Baldy you guys said thanks."
I second what Moe said. We rock. I have no fear of our opponents. Those guys yesterday were pretty good, but we held them to, like, three shots in the first half. We just need to maintain that momentum. Also, if necessary, I have no qualms accidentally beating the crap out of that one guy. Except it means touching him.
One slight potential problem is that I have to attend a wedding in New York on the weekend of the finals. But I talked to Tom, who apparently maintains a database of plane schedules in his head, and he seems to think I can make it back in time. I may be a bit hung over and be humming "Precious and Few" or "We are Family", but I'll be there.
-nj out