By Team Moe's

• Moe's Tavern Shopper
  
• The First Annual Moe's Haiku Slam
  
• Haiku: it's easier than limericks
  

  ---

  What is the sound of one Moe clapping?
  One boisterous night at the Beachwood, the members of Moe's under-achieving Spring 2002 squad sat down to answer that very question. Cheap beer was consumed, a Moe's pennant was raised, and we expressed our team spirit through poetry. Here is the result. (Disclaimer: all haikus are transcribed exactly as they appear on the note paper. If your haiku doesn't make any sense, it's probably because we're all sloppy drunks with bad handwriting. -nj)

  From Siska to Sean
  Moe's Tavern has had its fair share
  the soldiers tell all.

  Marty's a cowboy
  but he's not here right now
  Moe is not happy.

  Eric rides the horse
  Mike plays the X spot
  Cate and Julie leave.

  Calvin's Crew John Galt
  Imbibe booze of ill repute
  clearly booze is good.

  Oh no don't look now
  Cute Kelly is on the floor
  Moe's men turn their heads.

  Jenny thinks she's cursed
  she hasn't been a champion
  Moe's will take her still.

  Welcome back Moe's
  your dreams were your ticket out
  pls finish this poem.

  Marty and dowlies
  just like the Loch Ness Monster
  it does not exist.

  From the racist ref
  to Siska leaving the goal
  Moe's kicks total ass.

  Playoffs are coming
  Woodsy is still New Hampshire
  Someone call Sean's mom

  The Moe's are back in
  town again they're hanging down
  at the Beachwood Inn.

  To many pens here
  Marty needs to sign pennant
  he is slow sometimes

  Terry graces us
  He thanks us for our spirit
  He says we're athletes

  Marty made me play
  Natasha wants to kiss me
  I don't think Steve does

  Eric writes haikus
  Natasha talks of injuries
  it's a Moe's night out

  the Keystone Light flows
  The Simpsons are on TV
  a perfect Moe's night

  Panties in the crack
  Pull them out as Sean watches
  Heh heh heh he laughs

  Hey, knee-cap ripper!
  Your brother makes you look sane
  Dude, you're still a freak.

  The action is fierce.
  Into the wall what's that sound.
  She's got one hard head.

  Moe's are in trouble.
  High stick, high stick, oh my god
  what's the ref smokin'?

  Twelve high-sticks per shift
  waist equals hip equals knee
  vision is tainted.

  Thigh, shin, thigh again.
  Head, face, pelvic bone, both boobs.
  Man, that season sucked.

  There goes the Jenster
  Talkin' trash to the homies
  They are very scared

  Is it only me
  or does Marty's Cowboy Song
  sound like Mellencamp?

  Cate and Julie gone
  Moe's love extends across land
  Beer stays very cold

  Bruises show Moe love
  for hockey festivities
  take one for Moe now

  Keystone Light honors
  for great defensive prowess
  Just don't drink the beer

  Final nite as Moe's
  team shows talent for haiku
  Baldy makes big hate!

  Contact Not Moe.