By Moe

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ROSTER
It's all about Sean right now; he's bringing a buddy on Sunday in our continuing quest to find a fourth guy to fill an unexpected hole in the roster, due to Good Mike (the Old Mike) campaigning for Father of the Year by giving up hockey for a season to coach his son's first soccer team. His priorities are messed up, but I guess I've gotta let him learn that for himself.

On the women's side, will we actually have a Jen Sweeney sighting? Does she exist? Or is she Jen Casey's alter ego?

CUTE KELLY
In all our years of floor hockey, I never imagined Cute Kelly issuing a Fuck You to anyone. But man, she was ready to kill Campioni. I didn't really see that he did anything wrong, but I'm assuming he did, because, well, it's Cute Kelly. What's the story, Killer? (Is a new nickname born?)

MARTY
Everyone take a minute right now to make fun of Marty in their minds.

KEYSTONE LIGHT PLAYERS OF THE GAME
The defense: Casey, Carmella, Natasha. Not everyone, um, agrees with me on this, but I thought you guys played fantastic. I thought the forwards, me and Marty in particular, but also the non-presence of Drew, didn't come back to help contain Canada. After the game, Natasha gave props to Campioni, er, I mean Killer, for his two-way play. So he's runner-up.

I also had three goals and two assists. Just wondering if anyone noticed.

ROLLER HOCKEY
A little cross-talk here. I can't skate. Sorry guys, I'm trying really hard. But I do know how to hold my stick. I feel it coming around.

ROLLER HOCKEY HUMOR
Our roller hockey team is named Capital Punishment, and our logo and jerseys are pretty motherfuckin' bad. But neither me nor Marty believes in Capital Punishment, so we've requested a name change to Life Without Parole. It's not quite as mean, though. We don't want to lose an edge.

STRATEGY
Back to Moe's. There's been some talk about changing things up and moving a guy back on defense. I have mixed feelings. Over the years, we used to try this once a season, and ended up switching back. Lately, we haven't even tried because our current formula has worked so well. However, it's really about whatever the team wants, and the women in particular. We could try it for a half, or we could stick with what we do for a half and see how it goes, or we could do any damn thing you guys want to. I'm just here to make the team happy. So think it over and we'll talk about it Sunday.

CHATTER
Let's get some chatter going out there, this is a very quiet Moe's! You are hereby required to have fun each and every shift.

SUNDAY
Game time is 3 p.m., and we've got another tough game, against Calvin's Crew. This is the other tough team in the league; it's likely between us, the Enforcers, whom we played last week, and Calvin's Crew. I think that substituting Sean's friend for Drew will do wonders, and I think a fourth girl will help keep the women fresh, and I think a mask for Sean is worth a couple more saves. So I suspect we will finally see the real Moe's.

Moe out.