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Flaming Moe's song

PAST MOE'S

'Topes Shopper

 Moe's Tavern Shopper - Fall 2002 Vol. 5

By Natasha

  • Moe's Tavern Shopper
  • The HAL Edition
  • If you hear about a computer dropping off the 14th floor of Tribune Tower
  • It didn't jump; it was pushed.

Technical difficulties
Due to the aggressive nature of my desktop pc, this may be a very short Shopper.

Difficulties with Technique
Is it just me, or should Reckless Bacon be a much better team? They have Tom, who we all know has a rifle shot with lots of weird spin on it. They have a decent forecheck, especially their ladies. They have a pretty good goalie, or at the very least, a pretty lucky goalie. Hell, they even have adorable kids. And yet, they suck. Discuss.

Trouble with Terry
My nomination for quote of the week is complicated, but it involves Marty's response to Terry during his pre-game ramble. Basically, whatever Terry said, Marty countered with a statement like, "uh, yeah, I totally see where you're coming from." It went a little something like this:

Terry: I'm late and it's Bart's fault.
Marty: I totally see where you're coming from, man.
Terry: Next week, I'm bringing another ref and I'll pay for it out of my own pocket.
Marty: Hey, you know, I totally see where you're coming from.
Terry: You guys are the best, seriously. God bless all of you.
Marty: Uh huh. I totally see where you're coming from.

The best part is, I'm pretty sure Marty had no idea where Terry was coming from. But he would have, man. He would have.

Suspension of Disbelief
Jen Sweeney, was that seriously your first hockey game ever? Get down with your bad self, you athletically-gifted rock star.

Trouble with Jimmy
Other than the fact he went to Ohio State, there is no trouble with Jimmy. In fact, he's Keystone Light player of the game. Did you see that time he deflected Casey's long shot between his legs and into the goal? Pardon my French, but that was freaking cool!

Trouble with the Keys
Holy crap, we're playing Orange Crush again this week. They're the perky people we massacred in week one. Game time is 3:00. Remember to tell Moe if you can't make it. Not that he's going to make it or anything.

Editorial Apology
Once again, I must beg your forgiveness for this sub-par Shopper. It's sad when the whims of a foul-tempered computer can undermine the quality of an otherwise world-class publication. Fear not, Brother and Sister Moe. This mere machine, this unthinking pile of silicon, plastic, and copper wiring, it is no match for the intellect of a SYNTAX ERROR 011101110101001 INTERNAL DOS MALFUNCTION C://>

Contact Not Moe.