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By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper -- the two weeks of excitement edition
- Brought to you by me
- Brought to you by my parents
- Proud rulers of the world's smallest European country
Revenge would've been sweeter with a ref
After waiting through the long holiday period for another crack at Calvin's Crew, Moe's returned to action with a surprisingly easy spanking of the reigning champs. Calvin's have endured some lineup changes in the new year, and as a result they suck. We will have to carry the memory of this victory in our hearts and minds, however, as the lack of a referee means it's about as hollow as Joe Millionaire's head.
Keystone Light Player of the Game, Week 1
At the risk of being branded the Kim Jong-il of floor hockey, I hereby
declare the Keystone Light Player of the Game to be myself. And for the
record, it was Jimmy's idea. He made a persuasive case: I did have that
sweet shot that Steve deflected in, and that set up of Marty in the second
half actually made me blush. And, of course, the masterful way I allowed the
puck to slide under my stick and back to Steve at the end of the game --
hey, man, the great ones work the psych-out. All of this was enough to
convince me I deserve the title "Peerless Leader." Er, uh, Player of the
Game.
Steve and Steve's guts
Speaking of Peerless Leaders, Cap'n Moe contracted a wicked intestinal
disease and was forced to cheer his team on from the sidelines in week two.
Actually, he didn't even make it to the sidelines. He and his germs stayed
at home. And to be perfectly frank, the rest of the team was kinda glad.
The good news
Fortunately, with the Steelers out of the Super Bowl picture, Eric "ride the
pony" Emery was able to sub for our fallen hero. Even more fortunately, the
opposing team had almost as much hockey skill as a plastic onion.
Keystone Light Player of the Game, Week 2
Noting my tyrannical tendencies, SportsMonster has wrested control of the
POTG from me by establishing a "Team MVP" award. I'm guessing the award is
administered by Terry... right? Anyway, he picked Sean, who is always a
superstar, and who may be the only person whose full name Terry knows. So in
subsequent weeks we may see awards for "Champ," "God Bless You," and
"Marty." Does anybody else feel a little uncomfortable with this? If so,
feel free to join my people's revolutionary front.
Terry's stirring up trouble
According to our favorite referee, Calvin's Crew is just chomping at the bit
for a rematch. Apparently they couldn't bear the weight of the asses we
handed them, which is sad since those asses were in fact their own. Terry
says they'll meet us "anywhere, anytime." This rivalry is just like West
Side Story, only without the cultural tension, music, dancing, titular West
side, or inter-team romance. So basically, it's nothing like West Side
Story. But Terry made it see pretty dramatic.
Hate this Shopper?
Don't worry, it's about to end. Game time this week is 3:00 pm. Hopefully,
Steve will be back to his playing weight by then. We also will be joined by
our fourth full-time female Moe, Christy. Let's welcome her with a win, eh?
-nj out