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By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- Now dripping with extra sarcasm
- Because it's so funny
- And really constructive, too
Mike Muyres: what a slacker.
I mean, really. The guy comes back to the team after months away and what does he do? He forgets his stick, he only scores once, and that attitude of his? Sucks. Plus, he broke the special Eric Lindros superior-quality stick that I loaned him. And that really hurt because, as everyone knows, I love Eric Lindros. I love him so much I want to have all his babies. Well, maybe just five or six. At once.
The new system: a shining success.
I think the main reason that the new three-forward system worked so well is that everyone was doing exactly what they should've been doing at all times. No one strayed out of position and we all communicated really well. There was none of the petty sniping and grumbling that has been known to characterize less-successful teams. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen Moe so cheerful.
[Non-Sarcastic Coach's Notes: Do what I say, and say what I do, and we'll get through this graduation just fine. And it'll be party-time, Italian-style.]
Cuddles goes bye-bye
I made an important advance in my struggle to establish myself as a hardened enforcer on Sunday when I took Cuddles out on a key play. I was trying to turn around so I could match up with his forehand. He made the all-too-common mistake of underestimating the destructive power of my left buttock. People, when will you learn? You can't take on the buttock of doom. It'll beat you every time.
Diamonds are a team's best friend?
OK, Mike had an idea for a new formation that he likes to call "the diamond." Apparently it's a lot like the three forward system, only different. Didn't we once use a system we called "the diamond" that was actually an X shape? Maybe Mike just likes that word. Diamond. It is a nice word. I don't remember if we agreed to try "diamond formation 2003" or not. I'm not even sure I figured out what he was talking about.
KLPOTG
Mike.
Quote of the game
Sean in response to Steve's assertion that the other teams are better than us: "Of course they are. But that's why they call it the underdog, baby!"
If anyone has ever wondered why we love Sean as much as we do, that's why.
Important personnel note
Due in large part to the offspring of various Moette siblings, we will be short of women this week. Cindy and super-sub Cate are the only two females on the active roster right now. If you can help to recruit a sub, please let Moe know as soon as possible.
This week's game
It's at 1:00. No, seriously. It is.
Time to unload the Shopper
As hinted in the above personnel note, I will not be at Sunday's game. I will be in Cleveland attending my sweetheart's best friend's house-warming party. And it will rock. Oh for the love of peanut butter, stop laughing! It will too rock. That's enough. Come on now. Geez, the only reason I share these things with you people is because I need someone to write next week's Shopper. So what do you say kids? Does one of you want to bail me out? Don't make me sick the buttock of doom on you...
-nj out