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By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- The Christmas Miracle Edition
- Because it's a miracle I got this thing done before Christmas
- Brought to you by the Shoot-off
- The Shoot-off: still not exactly sure what that is...
Ba-humbug
After a season filled with new faces, reconstituted enemies, an over-stuffed low-light reel and a couple savory victories, the Moe's Tavern Fall 2003 Love Train ground to a halt on Sunday, December 14. That's not too surprising given that the train itself was half-empty, missing such key faces as Sean, Cindy and Jim. Oh, and certain casual commuters who shall remain nameless hopped on the Traitorous Scumbag Express. But hey, Cate and Virginia got to climb on board and sing Kumbaya with the rest of us.
They didn't even put a sleeve on his head...
Meanwhile, the inauthentic bandwagon that is BW#s Thunderstruck picked up a
brand new goalie none of us have ever seen before. We got some sob story
from Sleevehead about how he has a boo-boo on his shoulder and his other
goalie broke a nail and he didn't know she promised to go to the prom with
us and blah blah blah... you know what, Sleevehead? The buttock. It can't
hear you when you whine.
Still smilin'
So we borrowed the goalie from Score Drunk, and boy I'll tell you -- if you
ever meet a smilier goalie, I don't want to know about it. He smiled when we
asked him to sub. He smiled when we warmed him up. He even smiled when he
told us that he gives up a screaming assload of rebounds. True dat, Smiley!
And he smiled when he supplied the Quote of the Game. After the first half,
I asked how he was hanging in there and he said, "Awe, this is great! You
guys actually, like, play defense!"
The First Ever Sponsorless Favorite Moment of the Game
I just have to point out how much fun it is to have Cate around. Her
enthusiasm is so infectious, she even had Terry screaming along at one
point. Here's Cate, yelling encouragement from the sidelines, when all of a
sudden Terry starts screaming, "'Atta boy, Marty! You got Mike open at the
point!" Hilarious. By the way, Terry will always be there for Virginia. Just
thought you should know.
Oops...
There's a strong chance that I may accidentally be dating Al.
KLPOTG
I can't choose. Everyone on this team has contributed so much to this
season. Mike's the heart and soul. Steve's the brain. Marty's the right arm.
Casey's the sweet booty (me-ow!). Virginia's the legs, but not in the same
way Casey's the booty. Jim's the left arm. Sean's the liver. Matt's the
funny bone. Cindy's the spine. Cate's the bruises. Eric's the shoeless foot.
And I'm the vacuous grin. So I'm giving the award to all of us. Because we
rock.
Every end is a beginning...
We have a whole new season around the corner, folks. Some of you may be
wondering whether or not you should return. I won't try to sway you. I'll
just remind you that, should you choose to end your time on the Moe's Tavern
Love Train, you may never learn another spiteful nickname for the Enforcers.
You may never be compared to another body part. And you may never learn
truth about my accidental boyfriend.
Just ponder that while you enjoy a safe and happy holiday season.
-nj out