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By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- The Incredibly Hung Over Edition
- Brought to you by me, a few beers,
- Tequila shooters and
- a bottle of Korean liquor.
Uuuughh.
I don't remember much of last week's game. However, based on the few determined details clinging to my brain, I'd say we all put forth a suitably furry effort. Steve's performance was particularly twirly and sort of made me want to throw up. Eric made me help him with the stringy bits attached to his helmet. This also made me want to throw up. Casey didn't notice my hair, which was OK because it felt like crap that day. I spent a lot of time lying on the floor and begging it, for the sake of our friendship, to please stop jumping up and down. Once we had lost, I went home, consumed three packages of Ramen noodles, and the next thing I knew it was Monday.
Gggeehhhh.
This was a tough way to start the season, especially since we had a very
full roster. With the exception of Sean, all of the Moe's all stars were on
hand. At times, we even had two Martys. Oh, wait... that was probably just
me. So I suppose Sean was there, in that we carry a tiny piece of him in all
our raging hangovers.
Eeeeerrrrrkkkkk.
I think I hit an all-time low during this game. It happened during the first
half. I was guarding Tom and it was one of those things where, had I not
been beaten with my own excesses, my brain would've ordered my legs to place
me between him and the goal. In this case, however, my legs were like, "uh,
brain, you wanna maybe tell us to move?" while my brain was all, "must stay
inside skull... must not leak out nose..." So Tom just ran right by and
scored.
You've been warned.
Per Terry's most-recent declaration, Virginia is now the proselytizing
vegetarian of record.
Recruit and Decruit
In staffing news, we've lost our only two candidates for Rookie of the Year
because Sara has decided to make us all listen to her inner woman roar. Or
something like that. I don't know, people. Apparently, something pissed her
off and she's taking her friend and going home. As a result, I have been
stripped of my Executive of the Year title and will be sent down to the
Moe's minor-league affiliate in Floral, Saskatchewan for a stint of rehab
work. Oh, and we're once again looking for ladies.
Keystone Light Player of the Game
For the love of little pink bunnies, could we please get a different
sponsor?!
Important Notice
There are no games this week due to the gravitational force of the Super
Bowl. Our next game is at 1:00 p.m. on February 8. That means we have an
extra week to find us some new women. I won't be at the next game because of
social obligations in sexy South Bend, Indiana. And you know what that
means, don't you? Someone else gets to show some Shopper love.
-nj out