HOME
By Natasha
- Moe's Tavern Shopper
- The little Shopper that could
- I think I can... I think I can... I think I can...
Let's play two!
My yoga teacher is always telling me that I need to "listen to [my] hamstrings" more, because apparently that's the key to my future happiness. Well, Patrina, after Sunday's 2+ hours in a gym located down a wormhole to Brazzaville, I have been forced to listen to my hamstrings. Because they won't shut up. And they're saying really nasty things about me, too. Despite the grueling conditions, Moe's put on a strong showing, winning the first game handily and settling for a scrappy tie in the second. Here's a quickie recap of the action.
Game 1: Wild Horses Couldn't Terry Us Away
It seems SportsMonster is suffering from some bizarre form of tunnel vision.
They concentrated so hard on making sure that both teams knew about the
early make-up game that they completely forgot to tell anyone on their staff
about it. And since no one on either team wanted to suffer through another
rescheduling, we decided to play without a ref. Terry did eventually show up
to officiate the final two minutes, which characteristically took three and
a half minutes to transpire.
Nip/Struck
I'm going to agree with Casey that, for the ladies, a boob shot is probably
the worst. It's not just that it's a sensitive area; it's actually really
hard to breathe. And, also, I just really wanted to use that pun in the
headline. I've been cracking myself up with that all week. What? Is that so
wrong?
Vintage Moe
The first game was a perfect example of how we've historically won games. We
let our opponents do most of the running, content to keep them to the
outside and wait for our opportunities. We read them really well and were
able to break up a lot of their passing plays. Towards the end they took to
firing low-percentage shots from the point, and of course Sean was there for
any that made it on net.
KLPOTG
Virginia. Get used to hearing this, because Virginia had a monster day.
Game 2: Uniform Confusion
I think the second game was a perfect example of how we've historically not
won games that we really should've. We took for granted that we were the
better team and started off really slowly as a result. Obviously, we were
never going to be as fresh as them. We'd already played one game and they
have, like, more people in uniform than the coast guard. But still, I don't
think we gave them a lot of respect early on and it hurt us.
Ref Roadblock
Just to prove to us that he really was there, Terry managed to get in the
way of every key play we attempted to execute during the entire game.
Quote of the day
Terry, walking past a hyperventilating heap of Moes: "Guys, there's no team
out there... so if you want to scrimmage, just let me know. I'll stick
around."
KLPOTG
I'm a big fan of Virginia's.
This Week: Playoffs!
Alright, team. I can almost taste that next championship sweatshirt... not
that I ate the last one or anything. Honestly, I didn't. I... I'm vegetarian
and, uh, anti-polyesterian. Anyway, as Steve and Marty have already informed
you, we kick off this year's campaign at 1:00 against the Green Tide. Yes,
they're the team that crapped in our bathtub and called us babies. Yes, we
really dislike them with the burning dislike of a thousand suns. Yes, yes,
yes. So here's an idea: let's beat them, and then aggressively ride the pony
while making sophisticated gestures of mockery and disgust. And then, let's
go eat at Nookie's.
-nj out